Marriage

Marriage is like.

Marriage is love.

Marriage is a present

A gift from above.

Marriage is predictable.

Marriage is surprise.

Marriage is surrender.

Marriage is compromise.

Marriage is children.

Marriage is in-laws.

Marriage is acceptance

Of each other's flaws.

Marriage is trial.

Marriage is error.

Marriage is now.

Marriage is forever.

If you are thinking that my loving, happy marriage inspired this one, think again. Oh, I have been happily married for 13 years! I love my husband and am confident in his love for me. However, the inspiration for this poem is the marriages that were not so happily ever after. I have seen many friends and family members go through divorce over the last few years. Most of them never even saw it coming. Why is that? Why did the unhappy party not say something before it was too late? Why didn't they at least try?

I have always been the friend or relative to the blindsided party, and I think that is the better place for me. Although I always try to see at least two sides to the story, I don't think I could be a good friend to someone who has cheated their family out of a happy marriage. Cheating usually assumes a third party, but I think it runs deeper than that. A spouse who does not express his or her feelings, positive or negative, is cheating their life partner out of the opportunity to share the joy or lighten the burden. It is cheating them out of a chance to improve their marriage together.

I admire and respect the character and discretion that my friends and relatives have displayed during the course of their divorces and the aftermath. They are in a better, happier, healthier place in their lives. And I am happy for them. Some are in new relationships. Perhaps they will enter a marriage they so truly deserve.

The Beginning of Because of You

Because of You

Because of you,

I have become a better person.

Because of you,

I trust my instincts to help.

Because of you,

I know not to judge, lest I be judged.

Because of you,

I can keep my mouth shut.

Because of you,

I appreciate my family as they are, as I should.

Because of you,

I am a better person.

I was inspired to write this after a friend of mine wrote on my Facebook wall, "Can I just tell you how wonderful I think you are?" Well, yeah, of course. Who doesn't want to hear how wonderful they are. Still, clearly she did not know how much I admired and respected her.

Here was a woman living under a black cloud. Yes, my family and I helped support her and her family though several crises. We gave up our time and opened up our hearts and our home to her and her children. We saw, heard, and experienced scenes we had only seen on television. But the reality of her situation was it was her family and so it was her responsibility.

My friend had to keep it together in front of her family, and she did. She had to make hard decisions to keep her children safe, and she did. She had to know her limitations and accept help from family, friends, and neighbors, and she did. And she had to have the strength to pick up the pieces and give her family a new start, and she did.

So, maybe my family and I are wonderful because of the help and support we gave her. But, that help and support was not given just because of us. It was given because of her.

What they don't know can't help anyone......

Who inspires you? A parent? A sibling? A child? A friend in need? A friend indeed? Have you told any of them?

The purpose behind this blog is not just to do the inspiring, but to recognize the people who have inspired us. It has recently been my experience, that the people telling me that I am a good person are the people who helped make me that way. I wanted them to know, so I started a book of poems and inspirations. Inspired again by women of strength, I have decided to go the blog route for now. Am I taking the easy way out? Maybe. Then again, maybe my inspirations will know this much sooner how important to me they really are......

Dedication

Now that I've written my little book,

I've given myself a good second look.

Courage, confidence, instinct, discretion

Some of my most valuable personal possessions

I always had them; I just didn't know it.

It took these fabulous women to show it.

Especially my mom, but friends and neighbors, too

Women who inspired me to be the woman I knew.