The Right to Write

Most of my poems are in response to someone else's pain. My husband survived cancer, while a friend's did not. What should have been a joyful birth for another family was coupled with heartbreak and loss. Meanwhile, my children came easily and healthily into the world. I am happy in my marriage while countless friends' and relatives' marriages ended bitterly and even tragically.

As a result, I have wrestled with whether my writing exposes their emotions and whether I have the right to do that. When I expressed that concern at my Women's Writing Circle a couple of months ago, I was encouraged to reflect, explore, and write on that topic. My opportunity to finish pondering my "right to write" and bring myself to a resolution came with the June prompt to write about our personal history of writing. When we were finished we were to draw a line underneath and write, "Well Done!" and so I have done that here as well.

In my reflection and writing, I realize that though I have not experienced my friends' and relatives' pain first hand, I have walked with them, mourned with them, and experienced my own pain. So, my writing was a release of my pain. Don't I have the right to express my pain and heal from it? My new poem gave myself permission to write.

The Right to Write

If I put into words

The emotions you feel,

Am I causing more pain,

Or allowing you to heal?

I've not walked in your shoes.

My endings were all good.

So did I have the right to write

Just because I thought I could?

I know you're in pain.

It's so easy to see.

And pain needs an outlet.

For me, writing sets it free.

I write what I feel,

What I see, what I think,

Making room in my head

With just paper and ink.

It's not just a matter

Of whether it's right or it's just,

Rather writing heals ME

Making writing a must.

___________________________________________________________________

Well Done!

Because of You: Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day, a day of picnics and parades, family and friends to be sure. But more importantly, it is a day to remember those who have put their lives on the line so that we can live in freedom and safety. We remember the soldiers from all branches of the military, police officers, fire fighters, and paramedics. We remember their families who worry, pray, and grieve.

Because of You

Soldiers

Because of you...

I live free.

Because of you...

I am free to have an opinion.

Because of you...

I am free to express my opinion.

Because of you...

My opinion is expressed with discretion and respect.

Because of you...

I am free to participate in my government.

Because of you...

I do.

I live free...

Because of you.

So, what did you do for Memorial Day? Who did you remember? Who did you thank? God bless our soldiers, first responders, and their families. Keep them safe.

Balance

Balance

If life was fair,

How would we know?

If we didn't know loss,

How would we grow?

If there was no hate,

Would we appreciate love?

Or would we take it for granted,

This gift from above?

Opposites are necessary

For directions and such,

Like left needs right

And less needs much.

But I really don't think

That I need to know hate

To prove to the world

That love really is great.

For hate is the absence

Of love, I am sure.

But the absence of hate?

Love is much more!

Reactions to the news of Osama bin Laden's death have been somewhat varied. Some celebrate in a party atmosphere. Others have tempered their emotions, glad that such evil has left the world, but refusing to celebrate the loss of any human life, even his. Still others are taking advantage of these events to remember and celebrate bin Laden's victims and the soldiers who are making sacrifices to protect our freedom.

I have found myself in each of these categories. I wanted to open the champagne last night and nearly cried as President Obama gave his speech. When I got up this morning, I lit a candle. Not for bin Laden, but for remembrance. Now, nearly twenty four hours later, I can be satisfied that the balance between good and evil took a definitive swing to the good. Inevitably, there will be another swing, but for now, I can be happy with the tilt of the scale.

But does it have to tilt the other way? Just because we are given the choice to live loving lives or destructive lives, does that mean someone has to choose destructive? Which did you choose today in your reaction to the news of bin Laden's death? in your reaction to the Phillies' loss? in your reaction to the price on the gas pump? in your reaction to your child's report card?

Harbingers of Spring

What are your favorite signs of spring? For me, and most of my family, it is seeing the first robin. When I was little, it was a competition. She who saw the first robin got to call everyone and announce it. I say "she" because every year until the year she died, my aunt won. Every robin I see brings me sweet memories of my beautiful aunt. I know she treasured every little harbinger of spring.

Harbingers of Spring

I saw the first robin

Spring can't be far away.

Soon the teasing warm temperatures

Will be here to stay.

Little green crocus shoots

Defy the snow on the ground,

Shouting their victory

Without making a sound.

Sleepy eyes appear as

Hibernators awaken,

Searching for food

After the nap they have taken.

Birds are building nests

And laying their eggs,

While the new forest babies

Are finding their legs.

Gradually the snow melts,

Winter's final recession,

Marking the end of

Our winter stress and depression.

Spring has come at last!

We can be happy and gay.

Spring's harbingers are urging us to

"Go out and play!"

It's the Little Things

Over the last week, I have received Valentine presents from my husband, a dozen roses last weekend, a heart shaped box of Chocolate covered strawberriesa couple of days ago, today the required card, and finally a bag of dark chocolate non-pareils. It took years to convince my husband that the typical box of chocolates is just not necessary. I don't know how many times our sons finished the box off and I presented my husband with the box telling him to hold onto it and just buy some non pareils next year. Then finally two years ago, I was totally surprised by the first box of chocoate covered strawberries. My husband had all of the men in my family groaning and cursing his name. The women on the other hand were deeply touched by(and just a little envious of) the thought and love that was so clearly behind this gift.

But that is what love and marriage is to me. It's the little things. It's the little things that annoy us (leaving towels on the floor and putting the toilet paper on upside down). It's the little things that touch our hearts (putting gas in the car or walking the dog so I can take a bath).

So, on this Valentine's Day, I challenge you to identify and celebrate the little things that your special someone does for you. And make sure he or she knows how very much you appreciate it and love them for it.

The Little Things

He fills up her gas tank.

She lets him sleep.

Not just any chocolate for Valentine's Day,

But her favorite chocolate treat.

She coos his favorite dinner.

He does the dishes.

She throws a birthday party

Despite his claimed wishes.

He picks out the nachos

Without any cheese.

She worries over every

Slight cough or wheeze.

She laughs at his jokes.

He buys her flowers.

She waits for his call

Until the wee hours.

Don't take for granted

The little things each does.

There's no reason more special

Than "Just because".

Hope Is Not Lost, Hope Inspires

Try as I might, I cannot imagine the pain of a child lost. I have two wonderful boys. Both were born a month early, but relatively healthy. Yes, they have shaved a few years off the end of my life, Andrew with his emergency room visits and Christopher with his disappearing acts (twice we nearly had to enlist the help of the police to find him). But, I have not borne the pain of losing a baby or child. Truly, I have been blessed.

Today, I remember, with other members of my family, the children whose cries were not heard. Who were given eternal life instead of our mortal one. I pray for their parents who mourned them, but did not give up Hope that their family was destined to be great.

Hope

Hope is a dream

you know can come true.

Hope springs from the love

that is share between two.

Hope can bring sadness.

Hope can bring joy.

Hope can be found

in the birth of a boy.

Hope is a mom.

Hope is a dad.

Hope is the family

they knew they still had.

Hope is quiet.

Hope is wild.

Hope is faith.

Hope is a child.

Risk

I took a huge personal risk today. I attended a Women's Writing Circle. I cannot imagine myself doing that just five years ago. Whenever I take such a risk, I think of one of my Because of You inspiring women, Jake. She helped me to find the courage and self-value to take risks and make changes in my life. I have changed jobs, taken on this blog project, and pushed myself to new challenges, because of her. I miss her much since she has moved to California.
As far as I know, she has no knowledge of this Writing Circle, so this is a risk that I took without her. However, she continues to inspire me from her western coast. As I headed home from the Women's Writing Circle, I thought, "Jake would be so proud of me." More importantly, though, I have found support and a listening ear, and I am proud of myself.

Because of You

Jake

Because of you,

I have learned much about myself.

Because of you,

I learned I could stand up for myself.

Because of you,

I learned I can make a change.

Because of you,

I learned to drink wine...almost.

Because of you,

I learned that I can make a difference.

I learned all of this about myself,

Because of you.